Not a good idea


I knew this wasn’t a good idea, and I had told the voices in my head what my actual opinion was. Of course, this actually did not make any difference with what was going to happen. I was always going to carry out the idea, and what I thought was of no consequence.

It was not like the voices could actually do anything to me on the physical level. Other than making my waking life a sheer hell with all the noise, nothing was really going to happen to me if I did not do their bidding. I looked down at my hands as they gripped the stone and noticed that they were shaking. Too right, this really was a stupid idea, and it was going to get me in a lot of trouble. To say that I was scared was the understatement of the century. A cold sweat began forming all over me, and I felt a bead of sweat rolling down my face. I lifted my hand to wipe it away, and felt the cool surface of the rock pierce the pale skin of my cheek.

“Fuck!” I growled out, as I pulled away my hand from the now torn skin.

“Now, that was very stupid, and you have the audacity to even think that my idea is stupid.”

I felt my eyes roll as I listened to the voice inside of my own head telling me off. I had to admit it, the voice was right. I mean, I had actually just looked at the rock gripped in my hand free before I had dragged it over the skin of my cheek. Maybe the idea that they had given me wasn’t a stupid as it had first appeared. No, it wasn’t stupid, it just wasn’t a good one. There was a difference.

“It is both brilliant and perfect.”

“So you say.”

“Look, you are here now so you might as well go through with it. Just throw it already.”

I was never very good when it came to arguing with myself myself, and so I manoeuvred the grip on the rock that I had maintained even after injuring myself. I looked up at my target, which was the bedroom window of the girl that I had admired for very long time. This was my last ditch effort to get her to notice my very existence. The rock would ping of the window, and she would look out in order to see me under the lamppost and fall in love.

Only I was covered in blood.

I quickly rubbed at my face with my coat sleeve, hoping that I had done a bit more than smear the blood over my skin. I drew my arm back and took aim.

“Just do it!”

The voice put me off as it shouted in my brain. The rock left my grip and hurtled through space completely off course. All I could do was watch in horror as it arched away from the window and noisily struck the conservatory in their backyard. The noise of the shattering glass seemed to be impossibly loud as it reverberated around the street. I looked on as all the lights in the neighbourhood seemed to flicker on.

People were waking up. I was going to get caught. As I ran into the covering darkness there was only one thought in my mind. I knew this wasn’t a good idea.

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